It sounds like small talk.
It usually isn’t.
You bump into a donor at a simcha and he asks:
“How’s it going with the mosad?”
And usually, we answer the question exactly the way it sounds.
“Baruch Hashem, very good.”
“We’re growing.”
“There’s a lot going on.”
And then the conversation moves on.
Nothing bad happened. The answer may have been true. But the moment did not really go anywhere. He gave us a small opening, and we kept it polite. We did not give him anything meaningful to walk away with.
That is the part we often miss.
A donor’s casual question is not always just small talk. Sometimes it is a moment where his connection to the mosad is either strengthened or lost.
So when a donor asks how things are going, what should we do with that moment? And what is he really asking for?
I don’t think he is just asking for an update. He wants to feel connected. He wants to know that his support has a real part in what is happening.
He may not say it that way. But that is often what is underneath the question.
So the practical answer is simple.
Before the moment comes, have one short story ready.
Not a report. Not a speech. Not a pitch. Just one real story that helps him see what is actually happening in the mosad and feel the meaning of his support.
Here is an example.
The donor asks you, “How’s it going in the cheder?”
You answer:
“Baruch Hashem, very beautiful. I’ll tell you one small thing.
Last Thursday, Mincha was finishing, and I noticed a group of talmidim gathered around the bimah. I went over to see what was happening.
There were three seventh grade boys standing near their Rebbe. One after the next, each boy said over the last part of Perek Hamafkid by heart. When they finished, the whole group broke out dancing.
I was looking at these boys, and their faces were shining. You could see what Torah can do to a child.
To me, that story says so much about what our rebbeim are building every day.
So I want you to know, you have a real part in this. Your support helps make that environment possible.
A big yishar koach for what you are doing for the cheder.”
That kind of answer gives the donor nachas. It helps him feel that his support is not just paying bills, but helping create an environment where boys are growing in Torah.
That is how you build the relationship.
But for that to happen, you have to be ready. Because if you are not ready, the moment usually passes.
Before a simcha, dinner, event, or anywhere else you may see donors, prepare one short story.
It does not need to be a major success. It just needs to be real.
It could be a talmid who started coming on time, a boy who finally tasted success in learning, or a parent who shared what changed at home.
Choose one small story that shows the life of the mosad. You just need to be clear on three things: what happened, what it shows about the work, and how the donor has a part in it. That is enough.
Then say it out loud once or twice. You will hear right away if it is too long, too vague, or too polished. Tighten it until it sounds natural.
The goal is not to memorize a speech.
The goal is to have a story in your pocket.
So when the donor asks, “How’s it going?” you do not have to search your mind for something meaningful to say. You are ready.
You can say, “Baruch Hashem, I’ll tell you one beautiful thing that happened this week.”
At that point, you are not just giving him an update. You are giving him a small taste of the nachas he has a part in creating.
© 2026 Avraham Lewis & Co.