Your nephew is getting married tonight.
Normally, you enjoy family simchas. As you get ready for tonight’s event, though, you’ve got a small knot in your stomach.
Why?
Because the kallah’s uncle gives generously to mosdos like yours. And your own cousin is a successful entrepreneur.
Both will be at the wedding, along with a few other promising prospects. These opportunities are too good to pass up. You know you should speak to them.
But you (like the rest of us) really don’t enjoy pitching. Especially because the sushi table at a shmorg isn’t quite the place for a full-length pitch.
You’re not sure how to make the most of these opportunities.
Don’t try to pitch.
Just focus your efforts on… starting a conversation.
How do you do that? The same way you start any conversation with someone you want to connect better with.
Assuming you can catch their attention for more than a ‘shalom aleichem’, begin the conversation by showing an interest in them. Don’t try to turn the conversation to you. Their favorite conversations are the ones where they do most of the talking.
That’s Stage 1.
Stage 2 is when the conversation turns to you. At some point, if the conversation continues — and it may not get past the first 20 seconds — your fellow schmoozer may ask the classic “What do you do?” or “What are you up to?”
Here’s the tricky part. You need to answer that question in less than 10 seconds. You also need to do it simply and clearly.
Not sure what to stuff into those few seconds? Try answering this question:
What is the one thing your organization does that, if you weren’t doing it, there would be a real lack in your area of the world?
Here’s an example:
“I head Yeshiva Toras Chaim. We take young teens at this stage in their lives and give them a passion for learning and help them build a derech in avodas Hashem.”
Once you’ve said that — pause. You’re ready for Stage 3.
Stage 3 starts when you gauge their reaction. If they seem interested — if they raise their eyebrows, lean in, or give a curious look — you can say a little more about why you do the work you do.
“Many boys at this age aren’t feeling fulfilled by Yiddishkeit. Davening feels empty, learning feels like a burden. You’re familiar with this scenario, right? But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
Take another pause. Check in again — are they still interested? If so, you might want to continue.
“That’s where Yeshiva Toras Chaim comes in. We give each boy a rebbe who really gets this generation. He builds a relationship with him and helps him enjoy his learning and avodas Hashem.”
Now comes Stage 4.
Maybe the conversation continues naturally. Maybe he moves on to someone else, or the conversation turns to something else.
And that’s fine.
If he seems clearly uninterested, leave it there. But if not, now is the time to ask if he’d be open to speaking another time.
Then go enjoy your sushi b’simcha.
You’ve done your job.
© 2026 Avraham Lewis & Co.