This past week’s email sparked a thoughtful response from a leader I respect, a special Yid who runs a mosad Torah in the Tri-State area.
He wrote to say that last week’s piece was on target, but that it was missing one important layer.
He shared a recent encounter with one of his biggest donors.
That donor told him that the previous week, he had given away over one million dollars to support various causes. And yet, in his words, “I don’t think I made a single person happy.”
Here’s how the donor explained it.
“Look at you,” he said. “I’m making a serious five-figure donation, likely your largest gift of the year. I understand it’s not your fault, but while part of you is genuinely grateful, another part of you is disappointed.
Since last year, your yeshiva has grown. You’re doing more for Klal Yisrael. Your budget is bigger, your needs are greater, and you’re asking me for more than last year. You’re right to ask. It makes sense.
But the reality is this. I’m giving you $50,000, and you’re disappointed.”
Then he said something that stayed with me.
“My nisayon is accepting that no matter how much I give, and no matter how much I stretch myself, I am letting people down. And my avodah is to keep giving anyway.”
Reading this, I realized there is one more donor desire we didn’t name last week.
To feel truly appreciated.
Not politely thanked.
Not formally acknowledged.
But felt.
Donors are incredibly perceptive. They sense mixed emotions, especially disappointment, even when it goes unspoken. And in a time when many donors are struggling to maintain past levels of giving, that sensitivity is only heightened.
Which leads to a simple but demanding piece of leadership work.
Before a donor meeting, take a moment to prepare yourself, so you can be fully present, fully appreciative, and fully all in.
Because genuine appreciation doesn’t just deepen relationships.
It honors the donor’s nisayon.
It strengthens trust.
And very often, it creates the space for a donor to stretch further, when the time is right.
Have a most successful week,
Avraham
© 2026 Avraham Lewis & Co.