When something good happens in your mosad, it is natural to tell the donor what happened.
“We opened a new program.”
“The boys had a beautiful siyum.”
“The campaign helped us get through a difficult stretch.”
All of that may be true. And still, a good update can leave the donor outside the work. The donor hears it, says it’s beautiful, but the relationship doesn’t really move.
Without realizing it, you gave him the update. You did not yet show him what happened because of his giving.
This usually comes from a picture we carry in our head, even if we never say it out loud.
In that picture, there are three groups: you and your team, the people you serve, and your donors.
Most of us naturally put ourselves and our team at the top. Not because we are trying to be important, but because we are the ones carrying it. We are making the decisions, building the programs, dealing with the pressure, and making sure the work actually happens.
That is not egotistical. It is logical. When you are carrying it every day, of course that is how it feels.
But in a donor conversation, putting yourself at the top of the picture can get in the way.
Before a donor conversation, do one thing: move the donor into the story.
In your normal picture, you and your team are at the top. For this conversation, flip that.
Put the donor and the people you serve at the top. Put yourself and your team underneath, holding it all up.
In that flipped picture, the donor’s support is reaching the talmid, helping the family, or meeting the need. You and your team are the ones turning that support into something real.
And when you see it that way, you speak about it differently.
Not because you matter less. You are still carrying it. But in that conversation, you are helping the donor see, “My giving had a real part in that.”
That is what changes the conversation.
Don’t only tell the donor what happened. Help him see what his support made possible.
From where you stand, the natural language is:
“We did this. Thank you for helping us.”
But when the donor is inside the story, it sounds more like:
“This happened because of your support. I wanted you to see what you helped make possible.”
Here is what that sounds like in a real conversation.
A leader might say to a donor, “Last Thursday after Mincha, I saw three seventh grade boys standing near their rebbi. One after another, they said over the end of Perek Hamafkid by heart. When they finished, the boys around them broke out dancing. Their faces were shining.”
The donor may smile and say, “That’s beautiful.” And then you add:
“I wanted you to know that your support helps make an environment like that possible.”
Same story. But now the donor is standing inside it.
So here is one simple thing to do before a donor conversation.
Take one recent success you are proud of and write down how you would naturally say it.
“We opened…”
“We helped…”
“We were able to…”
Then write it again with the donor inside the story.
“Because of your support…”
“Your gift helped make this possible.”
“This happened because you stood behind it.”
That is the line to use in the conversation.
Instead of “We had a beautiful start to the zman,” say, “I wanted you to know what your support helped make possible as the boys started the zman.”
Instead of “We were able to help more families this year,” say, “Because of your generosity, more families got help when they needed it.”
This does not have to wait for a donor meeting. A quick phone call, a short email, or a WhatsApp after seeing something meaningful in the mosad can do the same thing: help a donor see what his giving is doing.
Use this language inside the mosad too. If donors are spoken about only as the people who cover the bills, that is how the team will come to see them. Keep giving donors real credit, and your team will start seeing that donors have a real part in what the mosad is building.
No false humility here. Just good fundraising.
© 2026 Avraham Lewis & Co.